Archive for the ‘Thoughts’ Category

Okay, so High End Fashion is sort of a conundrum for me. I generally dislike almost anything made for women by the big labels, because as a woman of *ahem* some size (I’m a size 18/20/22 depending on what jeans I am wearing) nothing is ever made for me.

But MENSWEAR… OH THE MENSWEAR. I get my little heart into a tizzy over menswear.

Because it’s something I could conceivably wear, and do wear, generally, and  no heels required! no one thinks twice about you wearing men’s shoes when you are also wearing a tuxedo. I am a super-chunky Goodwill-junky and YOU GET THE BEST CHEESY SUITS WHEN YOU’RE AT GOODWILL. It’s a win!

So, imagine my surprise when I was flipping through Vanity Fair and it’s skinny model in CHANEL, skinny model in BURBERRY, skinny model for GUCCI BAGS, and then GARY OLDMAN.

I thought it was a Movie thing, but then I saw PRADA at the bottom, and remembered he and a bunch of other actors were in the premiere fashion show for Prada’s Fall/Winter 2012 collection. I flipped through the rest of the spread and there’s Willem Dafoe, Blue-Steeling the SHIT OUT OF IT, seriously, look:

(Photos turned out to take up too much room, so they’re below the fold.)

(more…)

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On Sportmanship*

Posted: February 15, 2012 in Roller Derby, Thoughts

An alternate title could be: WHY REFS SHOULD AVOID GETTING TAKEN OVER BY THE TEAMS THEY SKATE FOR

Or: CHEATERS SHOULD THINK ABOUT THE EFFECTS KARMA WILL HAVE ON THEIR GAME

I was more than happy to ref a game for a league relatively close to my hometown** when they asked me to, I’ve done it before. I’m not going to lie, I don’t think too highly of their coach, but whatever. I wasn’t going to be head ref, I didn’t have to listen to her. Then last Wednesday, I received an email saying that they didn’t need me after all, they were going to use one of their new refs. Or so I was told.

I went down anyway. I was kind of excited to be able to watch a game, but as usual, I brought my stripes and gear just in case. Turns out it was a good idea. The ‘ref’ I had been replaced with was a) not a ref, but a skater in a ref’s costume. b) not going to become any sort of regular official, skating or otherwise, but was just doing this while she was getting off the injury list. c) clueless. A fellow ref asked me if I would be willing to put my gear on, and of course I said yes.

And, so I learned after the game, Coach Who Shall Not Be Named was a little upset about that.

I skated on the outside, shadowed by Clueless “Ref,” and holy shit. I made calls. LOTS AND LOTS OF CALLS.

And people got… upset.

Things got… heated.

I heard a rumor that my life was threatened, but at the time, I was pretty sure it was just the possibility of a parking lot slap fight with a big-mouth blocker who, ahem, disagreed with my call and then wouldn’t tell me her number. (the one written on her arm was illegible)

Team That Shall Remain Unacknowledged played heavily to the outside, with a lot of sloppy hits and penalties. If I made bad calls, it wasn’t because I didn’t know what I was seeing, it was because I was completely overwhelmed. If I got one mixed up with the other, I apologize, but it was probably a switch in my brain trying to make two calls at once.

Based on my experience with Coach WSNBN and Team TSRU in general, and the reactions of those people at the game, and who exactly it is who sets Team TSRU’s ref roster, I can only come to the conclusion that they were stacking the refs to gain an advantage at the game. Nobody expected (or wanted) anyone skating on the outside who would call penalties.

They were cheating.

If you’re playing clean, it’s not going to matter who’s wearing the the stripes, you’ve got nothing to worry about. But if you’re playing dirty… well, that’s another story all together. HOW YOU PLAY SHOULD NOT BE EFFECTED AT ALL BY WHO IS OFFICIATING YOUR GAME. If your whole playing strategy hinges on having sub-par referees? Well, you have a shitty strategy. Because the visiting team’s ref is going to pull in a friend off the side lines, and put a big ass wrench right into the middle of your works. If you get a lot of calls, you don’t throw away the rules, you step up your game.

And I don’t know who did it, the coach, the players as a group developing strategy. It doesn’t matter. It takes a lot of time and mental energy to think about how to get around the rules like that. More than, say, learning to play it straight.

And please, spare me your lame cries of “B-b-b-but it’s roooooller deeeerby!” It actions like fucking with refs, making horribly dangerous blocks, and being all around bitches that keeps WFTDA derby saddled with the reputation it had in the late 70s and 80s, that it’s nothing but a joke. Flat track derby, whether teams or individuals like it or not, is year by year becoming a legitimate sport. These childish actions are holding not only you and your team back, but the movement you profess to love so well.

In the end, Team TSRU lost by 40 points, I lost my damn temper, but I went to bed knowing that I did a good job.

And with the determination to ref every single home game that Team TSRU plays until I die.

 

*Or sportswomanship, whichever you prefer

**I won’t name them, but if you know me in person, you’ve heard me tell this story A LOT over the last couple of days.

NERDING OUT ABOUT DERBY RULES

Posted: February 15, 2012 in Roller Derby, Thoughts

The general idea...

YES LADIES AND GENTLEMEN EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY NOT BELIEVE IT.

After a WTF moment with a jam at practice last night, I have come to the following conclusions:

First whistle of the jam starts. White team tries to force a No Pack situation by having three blockers drop to a knee and one sprint out. Three blockers from the black team stay put at the jammer line, while one chases the white blocker going out of play, splitting the blockers into group A and group B.

In the diagram, group A is the pack according to 4.1.1, because they have the largest group of in-play skaters from BOTH TEAMS. All other things constant, the jammer whistle should ONLY BLOW when group A passes the pivot line.

  • If group B just chills, and group A doesn’t pass the pivot line, jammers never get released.
  • If a white player from B stands, group B becomes the pack. Jammers still aren’t released.
  • If Group A passes the pivot line, jammers go.
  • If either player in A falls or is taken out, It’s a no pack situation, jammers go.

This is something pack refs have to think about, with taking a knee to start the jammers becoming a regular thing, even at the levels of play that I ref at. If it happened at practice, it’s going to happen at a game.

But of course at practice last night, there really wasn’t anything I could do, since I was a jammer ref. For both the jammers. Blurg.

 

 

There is nothing that I do that I have less justification for doing than watching the completely awful, terrible, no-good TV show Bridezillas.

It is the complete worst of the marriage industrial complex on display, with frantic marriage-obsessed women acting like complete narcissists. If you were to learn everything about getting married from this show, you would spend your days drinking, forcing your bridesmaids and family to pay for everything, and then do everything, and then take the blame when the smallest thing goes wrong. Screaming, tearful breakdowns when the limo company refuses to take any of your crap and offers you a refund, because you don’t get the custom limo you ‘paid for.’ Your fiance gets viciously berated for trying to do something to save money, even if you’re already in for more then three times the budget you’ve agreed on at the very beginning. Woe be unto the tailor that has do do the dress alterations…

It’s really just awful.

First of all, if I ever get around to marrying somebody, I would want to love that person so much that any sort of commitment ceremony I participate in would be between the two of us. The thing is, the women on profiled on Bridezillas are under the impression that only one person is getting married, the bride. The groom is nothing but a prop. It  removes all sense of marriage as  a bringing together of two people who want to share their lives with each other.

It makes me uncomfortable to watch people spend so much money on a single day. How can you be looking forward to the rest of your life when you are putting you and your SO into tens of thousands of dollars worth of debt? When you are lying about money, and drinking, and strippers While you are being recorded! So you can be on TV! WHERE EVERYONE IS GOING TO SEE THAT YOU WERE A LIAR! You think that juicy little detail about you going over to participate in a threesome with the tattoo artist that branded your fiance with a PROPERTY OF tat and bringing the camera crew that’s recording your every move days before your wedding is NOT going to make it onto television? What? Seriously.

It really paints this picture of female insanity. ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS GET MARRIED.

EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE OKAY IF YOU HAVE A GOOD MARRIAGE.

IF YOU’RE PRETTY, YOU AIN’T GOT NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

IF YOU GOT MONEY, THEN YOU DON’T HAVE TO CARE.

IF YOU GOT A GUY, THEN YOU ARE A TOTALLY COMPLETE WOMAN.

THEN… LIFE WILL BE AWESOME.

SO. WORK ON SELF-ACTUALIZING GETTING MARRIED.

It boggles my mind.

Why do I watch it? Oh, god, why?

I think at the core of it… It makes me feel better about myself.

I am not one of those people who is an obvious bitch to people. I am not in the best position in the world. I have an okay job, but it pays shit. But…

I am not these people.

I appreciate what I have in my life. My job is very school and hobby friendly. I get along with people.

That’s why, almost every Wedding Sunday! on WEtv I’ll turn it on. No matter what happens in my life, I at least have my priorities in the right place