List of the Weirdest Texts I’ve sent this week:
- You working tomorrow? You should come hang. out with meeeee at the skating rink!
- Your IT guys suck for blocking pajiba
- I want to steal their neon.
- Is this K***? What the fuck! You don’t want me to DD, I’m not good.
- Lol, I”m officially converted to four-on-the-floor. I would probably die in a fiery explosion if I tried skating in a pair of inlines.
- I will go Michael Bay all over your face. Don’t push it.
- YOU MAKE MUFFINS. I MAKE PRINTS. ALL YOUR BAKED GOODS BELONG TO MY FACE.
- My knees look like the surface of the moon, thanks for asking.
- What? AOL is still a thing? Next thing you’ll say is that Hanson is back on tour… [Later…] WHAT THE FUCK? Holy shit, Furbee, tell me everything is going to be okay!
- Dude, judging by the trailer… I want to rub it all over my body.
- Sushi, mofo! Kiss my ass!
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